News to some, Jürgen Klopp is not, primarily, a stand-up comedian. First and foremost, he is a sales man for car manufacturer Opel, specialising in TV advertisement, of course. British consumers will likely know Opel under its knock-off brand name Fox' Hole, whose cars have come impressively close to the orignals in shitty looks and nowadays mimic the perilous driving experience to a T...Read More
Following Southampton’s unexpected victory at Anfield in the EFL Cup, and their subsequent capitulation against Arsenal in the FA Cup, Chilean attacker, Alexis Sanchez, could have two blank gameweeks in the next four.Read More
Dimitri Payet does not want to play for West Ham United anymore and everyone is losing their poops as if that did not have to happen. Frankly, it is a minor miracle it did not happen earlier. Payet is a bit of a peacock, is he not? And the French are known to be snappy dressers anyway. So the fact that he managed to avoid any pictures of him wearing the Hammer's kit up until now, or never just walked passed a mirror by sheer bad luck, is simply astonishing.Read More
Max the Naked German writes his first blog for The Gaffer Tapes.
I think any real fan would agree that one of the great joys of watching football is to witness the flawless administration of the game, in accordance with the respective rules and regulations. An overarching schedule guarantees that on match day, the same sequence of events is followed in stadiums across the country, at precisely the same time...Read More
The ever impressive Gafferazette Petra Sakkinen goes above and beyond with a Christmas poem that will make you cry amaretto and Tizer. Look out for Gafferazzi namechecks, fpl gags and more meta mentions than you could throw a Stimmers at.Read More
For those of you that don't use twitter or keep up to date with social media... we did it!
Thursday evening, we walked (stumbled) away with the Judge's award as Best Football Podcast at the Football Blogging Awards at Old Trafford...Read More
The man, the myth, the expert, the 2015/16 season Gaffer Tapes League Champion Calvin Chan gives us his second instalment of tips to help us all become a little bit better at Fantasy Football...
1) Be Disciplined, Hindsight is 20/20 bonus points. Weeks come and go where there’s another Stanislas, Shaqiri, or Stekelenburg, coupled with Aguero drawing a blank or Benteke missing a penalty. Almost immediately, the Twitter bandwagon goes into effect with FPL managers all over the globe asking if XYZ 5.5 midfielder is suddenly relevant. Avoid these pitfalls and focus on fielding your best squad with a multiple week outlook. Do not live in the regret of playing Cech against Swansea instead of Stekelenburg against City even though the latter significantly outperformed. Good decisions materialize (and normalize) over 38 gameweeks. Look to see if production is sustainable. Do not bring in a West Ham defender because they’ve collected two consecutive clean sheets with a fixture schedule of STK (H), TOT (A), MUN (A), ARS (H), LIV (A) coming up. If Antonio was used as a striker for 3 games but is getting relegated to right-back, the chances are his production will decrease. Look forward and don’t be a lemming.
2) Plan, Plan, Plan. At the risk of stating the obvious, 90% of FPL is careful planning and making decisions which suit your team for both the upcoming weekend as well as subsequent weeks. Know the fixtures for your starting 11 for the next 3-5 games with possible replacement options should injuries, suspensions, ear-biting, and/or other forced disruptions occur. For the next 5-6 fixtures, Liverpool, Leicester, Man City, and even (dare I say it) Hull have some sexy match ups. Focus on getting players in on teams which will bang in as many goals as possible. Even if you don’t get the highest scoring players right, having access to high scoring teams generally sets the stage for peripheral involvement (i.e. an assist or two).
3) Injuries are not worth £0.1. With increasing midweek duties from various competitions, injuries are likely to come and go. It becomes much more important to save transfers late to ensure that the dreaded ‘Knock – 75% chance of playing’ is avoided. Hold transfers to late Friday evening if possible even if it means losing the price rises. Making decisions late in the week will ensure that you play a team with as much information as possible into Saturday while maximizing your chances of a full squad. Experienced players already know but: Ben Dinnery (@BenDinnery on Twitter) is generally seen as the authority on injury news.
4) Adapt as the game changes. Teams change constantly and it is important to stay in front of changes in the dressing room. With Kane sidelined for weeks, who naturally slots into that forward role? Will Klopp continue to use Firmino in the false 9 position? Does Alexis’ production decrease with Giroud on the field? Does Kevin De Bruyne score more points when Aguero isn’t present? Why does Shane Long suck? When will Andre Ayew return to fitness? These are all the type of questions to keep in mind as the season grinds on. I still think it pays off most to pick attacking midfield players and lone strikers as opposed to wingers/defensive midfielders. Find out which players spend the most time in the opponents box and work backwards to fill your team.
5) Know your boogeyman. The boogeyman is hard to avoid but should always be kept in mind. What is the boogeyman? Aguero playing an international match during the week and starts on the bench versus a bottom-half team. Liverpool has a double-game week and Jurgen Klopp decides to make 9 changes to give young players a chance (aka Klopp-gate 2015). Three players on your team are all on 4 yellow cards a piece. Arsene Wenger decides to start Lucas Perez instead of Alexis or Giroud because he’s gearing up for his second career as an ASOS model and no longer cares. Mourinho benches Ibra in favor of a more nimble Rashford-Martial-Lingard front three because the wheels have come off at United. If at any time you are worried, give the armband to the safest option.
Godspeed and best of luck with the rest of the season. You can follow me on Twitter at twitter.com/calvinjchan. Every Thursday I provide my top 3 picks for captain over at www.facebook.com/TheFantasyPL. I try not to suck but no guarantees.
Petra Säkkinen provides us with 5 valuable tips to help us through the tough time that is... the International Break.
We’ve hit rough times. It is the long-feared international break, and whether you are used to disappointment like English fans or are wallowing in self-degradation like the Scots or Finns the absence of Premier league football stings us all.Read More
After 5 years, I have decided not to renew the subscription on my website tomholmescomedy.com... please take a moment to compose yourselves. Maybe light a candle and sit for a while staring into the flickering flame, contemplating life and our fragile existance as human beings.Read More
Calvin Chan is THE MAN.
It rhymes, it should definitely be his catchphrase and most of all: it's TRUE.
He won The Gaffer Tapes: Fantasy Football Podcast mini-League last year - as well as countless other mini-leagues, as he came 61st in the WORLD - and, as well as being an exceptional Fantasy Football player, he's also a listener to the world's biggest Fantasy Premier League Podcast... 'course he bloody is, the lad.Read More
We are using Coutinho's stats as a reference who scored two goals, three bonus and a total of 15 points. You cannot ask for much better than that can you. This makes people freak out and play chase the points by jumping on the Coutinho bandwagon leaving behind these great picks with imminent returns.
We are not saying that Coutinho will stop scoring from now on. No, we are just trying to draw attention to players who could be forgotten but act ads great differentials.
Even though Dusan has a tricky fixture this Gameweek against Manchester United away, his stats are not to go unnoticed. He racked up the most attempted assists (6) and Penalty area actions (12) out of all 4 players and three times more than Coutinho. That is orgasmic stuff.
As mentioned above he does play United this week but his next 3 home games consist of Sunderland, Swansea and Burnley, he could definitely produce in these games.
Tadic is currently owned by just 5.4% so acts as a great differential.
Townsend had a really solid debut game for Palace at the weekend. Again he beat Coutinho in all fields with his standout stat, attempted shots with 6. However caution to the wind here as all but one of these shots was outside the box. But who is to say one of those won't fly in more often than not from the ex Newcastle United midfielder.
When Palace decide to get into their big boy pants and actually buy a top class forward, that will be when to pick Townsend for sure.
That said, Townsend does have the easiest fixtures out of the bunch playing Bournemouth, Middlesborough, Stoke and Sunderland in their next 6. He also plays Tottenham away this week which i am sure he will want to show them a thing or two.
Man i'm just thinking if they sign a striker coming into week 3, Townsend will be a great pick.
With the attention focused on Lamela for scoring the equalizing goal and collecting 10 points, It was in fact Eriksen with the most positive stats. He racked up 3 shots, 2 attempted assists a massive 24 successful final third passes and 9 penalty area actions.
Eriksen is also on free kick and corner duties, enhancing his prospects for attacking returns.
Like Townsend, Eriksen has some great fixtures coming up with games against Palace, Stoke, Sunderland and Middlesborough in the next 5.
For more articles like these go to www.fballers.com or you can follow us on Twitter @fballersblog
DGW 34 has become as prevalent as MJ23 or CR7 in the last few weeks and it’s not wonder. Our FPL seasons hinge on it. None moreso than The Gaffer Tapes title contender Eliot Levy who gave his thoughts on all your double game week options…Read More
Craig has all but admitted defeat in the 2015/2016 FPL season. He's languishing near the bottom of the table, he's without a wildcard and without hope. Here's 5 reasons why he thinks his season has been an utter catastrophe and is now officially over.Read More
So much like Donald Trump’s going back and forth on himself, this #FPL season has been equally unpredictable. My own performance has been pretty shocking (around 500th) as I have failed to jump on cheap bandwagons (Vardy & Mahrez), and stayed far too certain players would come good (Bloody Adama Traore and Firmino in the past!)...Read More